Friday, July 25, 2014

Discovery of an EagleDiscovery of an Eagle by Grace Mattioli

I am sorry, but no stars for this book. I have NEVER not finished a book. This is a first for me. My choice would be to not write a review, but I got this ebook free from AMC (Author Marketing Club) with an understanding that the free part comes with an agreement that I would write an honest review.

This author’s voice is bland. The character’s have no character. As I tried to push through this story I kept thinking of the first level “Dick and Jane” books. The story begins with Cosmo Greco getting laid off from his job of eight years, but it is never revealed what that job was. Then there are sentences like “Hey, Cosmo,” she shouted out to him because he was still in the kitchen.” There is something innately wrong with this sentence. How did she know he was still in the kitchen? Could she hear him in there? Too much is missing, as is in the rest of this book. It soured my reader’s ear. There was an overuse of the “seeing it for the first time in his life” scenario. 90% of the first chapter is Cosmo seeing everything for the first time because he had been laid off. At location 751, first sentence, Chapter Four, I read “As Cosmo looked out the car window, he felt as if he was seeing the world for the first time in his life.” I got to location 950 and read, “Almost as if he were hearing Dylan for the first time.” Bland voice, bland character, impossible to want to continue reading. The list of "firsts" goes on and on.

Another problem is the lack of introducing a character. Instead, a name just appears. I was paging back thinking who is this too many times. Sometimes his father is Frank, sometimes he is his father. The name Donna just appeared with no introduction or clue that he was talking about his mother. Same with Vince, who I figured out was a brother.

I really wanted to find out what the story would reveal about the meaning of the title “Discovery of an Eagle”; the story revealed nothing. By the time I got to location 1389 I didn’t care. Great title, no story.

I just couldn't take it anymore. I'm writing this review with the intentions of being constructive, and helpful. I would suggest that this writer subscribe to some of the established writer’s blogs, like K.M. Weiland, C. Hope Clark, From Left to Write, Writer Unboxed, The Kill Zone, She Writes, and subscribe to Writer’s Digest Magazine. There is no limit to the great writer’s blogs out there. Take advantage of them. I am curious if this author let any of her friends read this manuscript before publishing it. Maybe joining a book club, or a local writing group could benefit, where other people could give some feedback as the WIP is developing. I cheer you on, Grace Mattioll, and encourage you to do a few more edits. At least you are writing; getting it down on paper. But, there is clearly more stone to grind here.

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